Just some pre-op thoughts while I wait for an operating room…and my surgeon to sober up.

I’m kidding, obviously. Besides, it’s usually the anesthesiologist who we waiting on to sober up, anyway. Another joke. Sorry if I’m scaring anyone, but I’m trying to keep relaxed. I’ve had well over twenty of this particular type of procedure. And they have a wonderful local anesthetic which leaves your hind-parts mostly numb for up to a couple of days for some patients. It works in much the same way that other local anesthetics work, such as when you receive a shot at the dentist to numb, to a degree, the nerves in whichever tissue or area around where the doctor will be working.

Nurse anesthesiologist one, “Okay, so this medicine going into your I.V. right now may make you a little drowsy or like you’ve had a couple of margarita’s.”
If you ever have surgery, surprise them by replying, “Oh, okay, that must be the midazolam (Versed)?” That’s a cool trick. But if you are able to keep awake long enough for them to begin to administer the propofol, the real trick would be saying, after you notice the slight burn of the drug as it enters your veins, saying to the anesthesiologist, “Oh, that must be the propofol, right?” and winking at him, smiling a big wide grin, and then, zZzzzZZZ passing out.
But I don’t think anyone has made it that far- and I don’t think anyone could. I’d love to see the look on the poor physician’s face, though, if it were possible.
Then comes the lot of potent pain drugs like morphine or hydromorphone, brand name (Dilaudid), and the fentanyl at some point.

Somewhere during all of this, you’re extubated. But by that point, you’re out of it,

: Clears Throat :

Right, and here we go back.

for Crohn’s Anonymous,
Signing off. over & out.

• J. L.